Life is Precious

Monday. I went to school as usual thinking where should I continue after a long break from my 1st blog which I did not even complete. I browsed through my notes before my class starts. We have a quiz today. Gail told me not to attend the class of Brain and Behavior. She said whenever I skipped the class, there won't be quiz given to them. Yeah Right. I wish… that I won't have to come for final and everybody gets an A for the entire course. Ian gave a lecture about sleeping disorder. This is a familiar scenario to talk about. I had it in the past while I was in Malaysia and have it recently. I learnt that there is nothing to do with our surrounding which interrupts our sleep. It is all about the transmitters in our brain that creates an odd sleeping rhythm in us. What really triggers odd sleeping rhythm? Moruzzi suggested that it is the brain that keeps us awake, not the noises. Besides, the major reason that causes insomnia is stress. What about stress? People who are struggling from depression often encounter manic stress. Of coz, there is way more contributions towards sleeping disorder but I am now focusing on depression as this is what had been attacking me since last Christmas, 23rd December2005. There is more about sleep walking that we had talked about and also sleep paralysis where a person wakes up, can't move and have panic response. Chinese believes sleep paralysis can be explained as being haunted by ghost but the science clarified everything through research. I myself experienced sleep paralysis recently. I was shocked when I found myself totally freeze early in the morning. I felt something is drawing closer to me but I just can't manage to shout and even move my body parts. I am speechless. Wanting so much to give Bernice a kick on her butt to wake her but still my desire can't transform into action. Yet so near but my inability to move frustrates me. I prayed. Approximately, 20mins passes, I am back to the normal self. Phew!!! What an episode…
OFF TRACK….back to 27th of March 06. Everyday's routine… I walked to the library and sat in front of the computer after attending Ian's class. Before I proceed to my work…. A bad news hit me. Bernice told me that her aunt is now in a dangerous state after the brain surgery. She was initially in good condition when she woke up from the surgery. Never underestimate what happen the next second in your life. She shivered and her entire body turned blue. Her brain was being attacked by other bacteria and she was lack of oxygen. She went unconscious ever since. We are all praying for her. Life is so fragile. So, please treasure yourself and love the people around you while they are still here. I had been grieving all these months for the lost of my love relation. I ruined myself. Tripping over depression, neglecting family and friends, hurting myself to achieve satisfaction from punishment gain me nothing but further lost. Thank God, He had been guiding me all these while. Not giving me extra burden to carry and putting his people around me to give me support and love. I am touched. I promised I will try my best to love the temple you had given me. I pray for the strength. Though, I still can't resist hurting myself in times of sorrow but I am learning.
After talking to Bernice, I emailed huijing, the daughter of Bernice's aunt. Telling her God knows what is best for us and we all need courage to accept and face the reality. The only thing left to do is to love ourselves more and not having our parents to worry about us. Just pray that God will walk her through this critical period.
I completed the final 3 forums for Phil's class. I am almost done with his course at this time of the semester. Two more finals and two more papers to deal with before closing the chapter of spring semester 2006. Just can't wait till it actually ends. Oh yes! Good news, Phil emailed me my grade. Here is what written in the email.
Hi, Huei Ling:
This is a well researched and interesting presentation looking at some of the more controversial aspects of ADD. The information you presentedseems to indicate that there are some other causes of ADD that might notbe well understood, and that there might be a role for nutrition for someof the children with this disorder. The biochemical information seems to support that this is a disorder with a biological base, and perhaps a different understanding of the role of diet may be developing. A reallyinteresting and thought provoking presentation.
Grade: 29/30 A
This news brightens my day. Thank God for being there for me and assist me through such a stressful semester. Without the Holy Spirit, I won't be able to cope well in my academic.